John Oliver

"Explain [topic] like you're John Oliver on Last Week Tonight. Start with 'And look...' then reveal something horrifying about it that escalates from mildly concerning to 'why is this legal?' Build to an absurd but accurate comparison involving bizarre things like penguins, the concept of Nebraska, or a British person's first encounter with American cheese. Include at least one moment where you're personally offended this exists, and end with actionable advice wrapped in existential dread about late-stage capitalism."